things that make you feel old

1) Your wife's co-workers being both shocked and awed that she knows how to text message
2) Turning on the radio and stumbling across a station in the middle of their daily "90s hour". I'm pretty sure they meant "80s hour" because, as I remember it, that's the music for old people clinging to their youth, not 90s music.
3) Finding out that a classmate has gone these last three years of law school believing you are in fact in your thirties, not your twenties, someone having told her such during our 1L year. Thanks, thanks a lot.

When I was younger I figured that by this point I'd have more body hair and bigger muscles. I guess I'm sort of glad the body hair thing didn't pan out, but where are those big hulking muscles?


hi arnie, I'm dinesh

Someone somewhere has gotten my cell phone number and sold it to telemarketers, because I now get phone calls pretty frequently, asking if I want to try out some random product in exchange for Wal-Mart gift certificates. I always know what's about to happen when my phone shows a number I don't recognize and there's a pause after I answer. Each time it's someone in India with a name like Mike or Jerry. The most recent person's name was Nixon. If I were choosing an American pseudonym I think I'd go for something other than Nixon, but whatever works, I guess. It's like in high school Spanish class, where you got to choose your Spanish nickname. I think I was Felipe.

Point is, these callers are apparently getting paid alternately by either the phone calls made or the sales bagged, but never by the hour. Whenever I tell them I'm not interested, one of two things happens. Either I have to spend the next five minutes convincing them that I actually am sure and that no, an extra $10 in gift certificates won't get me to change my mind, or I don't even get to the "thanks" in "no, thanks" before the person hangs up. When Nixon called, all he did was say his name and ask how I was, to which I replied that I was fine and asked if the call was regarding Wal-Mart gift certificates before he hung up. Didn't even answer my question. What if I had been waiting by my phone for the past month, neglecting family and friends, hoping a Wal-Mart gift certificate would come my way? He didn't know if that was my situation, and he certainly wasn't waiting around to find out.

I guess my point is this: Indian call center managers, please start paying your employees by the hour. I'm getting a little irritated over here.


...and taking names

15. Not bad, but my bloody moral compass keeps holding me back. And here I had hoped law school would take care of that.


thanks, buddy

So there was this male customer at the wife's old coffee shop (yes, she's at a different one now, covering for a manager on maternity leave - keep up, people) who repeatedly tried to convince her that I was going to leave her after graduating, since that's what lawyers do. Then when she mentioned to him that I am joining the Air Force JAG he came in the next day with divorce rate stats for the Air Force. Really, man? Who does that?

But you can be confident, dear reader, that the wife and I will not divorce anytime soon. No, I've assured her and I assure you too that I will wait until we live in a state with more husband-friendly divorce laws.*

*I feel bad even writing that last sentence. Sorry, hun. How do you feel about going out for dinner tonight? I know, I know - I've already made my bed on the couch.

message from blogger #9

Went to Seattle last weekend for the trial team regional competition, and we won again! At least I now have several hours of free time each week until finals.


back off, it's just a cold!

Darn straight. Not saying this type of thing happens often, just saying I shouldn't get harassed for hesitating to be an organ donor.