on why not to be naked and wet with your co-workers

Morning workouts, or "PT" as we in the biz call it, is ripe with potential for both embarrassment and bemusement. Thankfully, after nearly a year of being active duty, bemusement is more common than embarrassment.

There are just so many bizarre things that take place in the locker room and/or fitness area, due in part to the fact that retirees, civilian employees, and people from other branches are also allowed to use our facility. Yesterday I was there and a middle-aged Marine was shout-grunting every time he pulled down on the overhead bar, and it was everything I could do not to laugh. I mean, even assuming shout-grunts do give you extra power, it seems like you'd at least try to tone them down when no one else around you is implementing the shout-grunt method. Then there's the the guy, whom I actually haven't seen in a month or so, who is in the locker room daily, shaving his body hair and oiling his body when I begin my workout, and still in the locker room shaving his body hair and oiling his body after I finish my workout, shower, and leave. Given his creative body piercings, I assume he is a civilian.

Friday, I had showered in the giant shower room and was standing next to the towel rack, retrieving my towel, when I felt a spray of water drops across my back and left arm as someone approached me from behind while using his hand to forcefully swipe water off his body. My initial reaction was of the WTF variety -- What in the he- oh. Why hello sir who significantly outranks me. Thank you. I was just thinking how wonderful that shower was, and how much I wanted another. An encore, if you will. Dessert to the fine entree that was the shower I just finished five seconds ago. And you, with your powers of perception, granted me my wish. I thank you.