pruriently interesting

So we just finished studying obscenity and the first amendment. Good thing, too, because it looks like Richard Gere has been doing a little brushing up on obscenity on his own, over in India.

I admit I get a cheap thrill out of seeing allegedly cosmopolitan celebrities skewered for intercultural insensitivities, but that isn't the real reason I'm writing. No, the real reason is the irony in the fact that the arrest warrant, the protests, and the burning of effigies were all sparked in part by the fact that Gere's actions were allegedly an "outrage against her [some Bollywood actress's] modesty."

This from the country where, when my wife and I visited, we couldn't walk down the street without men shouting at her, bending over, and humping each other. Quite literally. And it's not even as though she was dressed skankily or in a way that would be offensive to (or "appeal to prurient interests" within) the culture. True, I was wearing nothing but a leopard skin speedo, but I'm pretty sure their cat calls weren't directed at me.

According to one source, Indian men act that way towards white women because they think white women in real life are like women in Hollywood movies who will give you the ol' one two at the drop of a hat. Either way, what constitutes an outrage against Shilpa Shetty's modesty and an outrage against my wife's modesty are apparently two different things.


insert insensitive title here

Since becoming a store manager of the-entity-which-shall-remain-unnamed, my wife's had to fire a couple people. It's possible that she feels bad about this on her own, but just to make sure, I usually give her an extra hard time about it.

Like when she fired the suicidal girl. She just stopped coming to work, she said. Her blood will be on your hands, I said. Most recently, it was a guy who, well, had a number of issues. Just watch, I said, he's going to come back and have a shootout.

So today, the wife gets to work and discovers that the local college and high school are both closed down, the news networks are splashing someone's picture across the screens, and the police are on a manhunt. Something about a threatened shooting to commemorate Columbine. Turns out, the suspect was the person she had just fired. Lest you worry, you should know that several hours and multiple calls to the police later, the guy was apprehended.

Is an "I told you so" inappropriate?


your daily mac down

professor (to japanese-american classmate): What would you do if I called you a bleeping nip?

classmate: [pause]. I guess I'd call you an asshole.

Ahh, con law. And the above exchange was only after a shouting match ensued between the prof and a classmate, which prompted three other students to simply walk out. Unfortunately, I missed the shouting match and walkout (due to a job interview that made me late for class), but I was able to make it for the above-cited exchange.

p.s. I apologize if the above-cited language was offensive. Apparently, however, I'm not remorseful enough to actually delete it. Almost, but not quite.


kim jong il, inspiration of students

One more week of classes left, and I still haven't gotten past page two on my first outline. Does this worry me? No, not so much as it gives me a perpetual knot in my stomach. Then again, I guess that's worry. Still, this video comforts me:

Brilliant idea. Thank you dear leader, Kim Jong Il. Instead of wasting this last week working on outlines, I will create my own personal propaganda video, which I will force each one of my profs to imbibe while listening to triumphant commie music. Tortia Man: Fearless Taker of Tests, Whose Essay Answers Inspire All People of the Mighty Motherland. Put that sucker on loop, and my "A"s are guaranteed.


FRCPs, pakistani style

Now here's how you get things done. Screw the motion for appeal, give me a friggin' riot. Clearly, I'm attending law school in the wrong country.

See those guys hurling rocks at the police? You can bet your last interrogatory those guys are defense attorneys.